I love German. Not only is the least romantic language of them all (“I love you” in German sounds more like “I will hit you with shovel”) but it sounds great in a deep voice (think Rammstein) and almost everything sounds vaguely sexual (think Rammstein), particularly if you say it with a slight smile. It is the only language to capitalise every noun, which not only wears out Shift keys faster but is deliciously ironic given German people’s reputation for efficiency. Not only that, but every noun is given a gender with often bizarre results- a small girl is neuter rather than female, and the ocean can be either male, female or neuter depending on what term you use to describe it (Ozean, Meer, or See). Mark Twain even wrote of his experience with the German language “surely there is not another language that is so slipshod and systemless, and so slippery and elusive to the grasp. One is washed about in it, hither and thither, in the most helpless way; and when at last he thinks he has captured a rule which offers firm ground he turns over the page and reads, ‘Let the pupil make careful note of the following exceptions.’ He runs his eye down and finds that there are more exceptions to the rule than instances of it.” So without further ado, I present to you meine Damen und Herren, my top 17 favourite German words and phrases. … Read More →
Cruising in Alaska
We cruised out of Whitter late afternoon with the water a deep blue sheet of glass. My sister had managed to get me a balcony cabin upgrade and what a cabin it was. I was in cloud nine as the attendants brought me a cheese platter and a bucket of beer bottles, also courtesy of my wonderful sister. I ate and drank watching the mountains, glaciers and the ice as the sun went down. … Read More →
Surfing in Rio de Janeiro
It’s a humid morning in Rio, and still cool but with the promise of oppressive heat in the air. My fiance and I wander through the jungle-city streets with our surfboards, attracting only cursory glances from early morning risers and those who are yet to go home after a night of partying. We reach the bus stop and there are a few others standing around I can’t quite help feeling slightly awkward. It’s been years since, as a grommet with no drivers licence, I’d caught buses with my surfboard back in Sydney. But then the big orange surf bus comes thundering down the street with impressive punctuality for Brazil. The see us with the boards and stop. The door opens and the sounds of Bob Marley waft out into the Rio morning. The driver, looking not unlike Otto from the Simpsons, gives us a friendly “Oi” and waves us aboard. … Read More →
Oktoberfest in Munich
Oktoberfest is one of those traditions that seems so crazy that it’s almost unbelievable that it even exists. For a couple of weeks in late September (yes you heard me right) the otherwise stately Munich becomes a heaving mass of lederhosen-clad beer-swilling hairy men and buxom wenches in dirndls, from all corners of the planet. Yes it’s possible to enjoy Oktoberfest elsewhere (especially if you ask Germans from other cities) but for the foreigner, there is no other experience like being at Munich Wiesn, in one of several beer drinking tents, dancing on the tables and having a right old laugh. It’s exhilirating and horrifying in equal measure. … Read More →
Dogsledding in Finnish Lapland
We arrived at the farm early one morning to find hundreds of dogs in kennels going quite beserk at the prospect of going sledding with strangers. Wow, what an exhilirating way to travel the white tundra! The dogs would race like crazy along the flat or downhill, and you had to work hard to keep the sled under control. Respite would come as the dogs headed uphill, huffing and puffing and not stopping until they had reached the top. Alex rode the sled in front of ours and our dogs followed his- usually. … Read More →
Chasing the Northern Lights – Aurora Borealis
It’s funny that with arctic locations, the peak season for visitors is generally the middle of summer. While I accept that midsummer in these cold parts of the globe is crazy good fun due to parties, saunas and the general excitement of the local people who become set free from the extreme climate that traps them for most of the year, I never really understood why you would visit a cold, icy, mountainous part of the world and then try to avoid the cold, ice and mountains. Sure, in the colder months the North is dark and forboding and the extremely good looking inhabitants are obscured by excessive clothing. But on the plus side, you experience life as it is most of the year in these parts…. and you “might” even get to see the Northern Lights. … Read More →
Surviving an Earthquake in Japan
Ever since visiting the Kyoto region and winning big in Pachinko I’d longed to return to Japan and experience the cartoon craziness, rich history, bizarre cultural contradictions and the food once again. And the snow. I’d heard so much about the snow in the Japanese Alps and the north of Japan. The deepest powder you’ll ever see, I was told. But my mate Brad proposed a trip there at a time I was weary from travel and enjoying the southern hemisphere summer in Australia. “Come on, it’ll be epic,” he promised. He was right, as it turns out, and for reasons other than just the awesome snowboarding. I had never been to Tokyo before, other than some short transits through Narita airport on my way to Europe, so we decided that we’d fly out of the north island of Hokkaido for the last few days of the trip and spend a few days partying and exploring in Tokyo. As it happened, on my first day in Tokyo I experienced an earthquake for the first time. And it was a doozy- at 9.0 on the Richter scale, the 2011 Tohoku quake was the most powerful to ever hit Japan. … Read More →
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