Hello out there in Toothpaste land. I want to share with you today something interesting that’s been happening since I began writing about my adventures. Ever since I started this travel website, I’ve had readers I love contacting me saying things like “You are so lucky you get to go on all these adventures,” or “I hope one day to also experience these things but it’s all too expensive and the flight is too long.” This struck me as rather strange, because although in my later years I’ve had a wonderful job that has not only allowed, but indeed required me to go on all sorts of adventures around the world, when I was a young whipper-snapper I was much like any other. That is, I was a student in Australia, I was poor, I ate my share of 2-minute noodles, that sort of thing. And yet- before my 22nd year was done, I had visited the USA, Thailand, much of Europe, had been all over Scandinavia, Singapore, Tahiti, Estonia and the Maldives! How did I do it?

I think the difference between people who travel, and those that want to but never do, is not just determination (which is also important), but creativity in determination. Read on for some further ideas.

You might find a gem like this on the European Grand Tour. Dresden, Germany.

1. Save and Scrimp

Easy ones first. You may not earn much, but no matter what you earn, there are plenty of places you can go where you can afford to get by. For example, in my student days I stayed in bungalows in Thailand that were literally $5 a night and food cost me only a few bucks a day. Really, there is a budget for everyone. However, there is one caveat here and that’s the flight you need to catch to get overseas! The flight is the hard part, because flying is an expensive business (and don’t blame the airlines, because they make next to no profit margin- but that’s a topic for another day).

So, the most obvious thing to do to afford that flight and your accommodation and travels is to save. When I was a student I was on a scholarship that gave me a few hundred bucks per week. Doesn’t sound like much, but after 2 years of this, I’d saved $8000, which I budgeted was enough to last me 3 months backpacking in Europe. Saving is not easy but you can do it- I saved $1000 of this money simply by avoiding toll roads for a year when I drove to university. A little inconvenience can often go a long way. Plus I bit the bullet and moved back in with my folks so I wouldn’t have to pay rent for a while. Think about all the ways you can save and then stick to it for a year or two.

Nope, no statues like this where I come from…

2. Ask your Parents for Help

Probably only applies to those of you in your 20s or younger, unless your folks live in a gold-plated nursing home and are happy to splash the cash to their adult kids. When I went on my first trip, I saved $8000 for the trip- and for my 21st birthday present my dear old Dad then stumped up the cash for my flight itself. I think he could see that travel was likely to make me a well-rounded individual and he was proud of my determination in saving as much as I had. Either that or he just wanted me out of the house, I’m not sure which. If you’re a young-un with nice parents, why not have a chat to them about how travel will make you a much more glorious and noble person. Because it will.

3. Take Out a Personal Loan

After my first 3-month trip backpacking around the USA, Europe and South East Asia, I came back home to graduate my degree and start work in Sydney. But I had been bitten by the travel bug and everything back home seemed so humdrum to the buzz and colours I had experienced out there in the world. I was determined not only to get back onto the road again, but to do it better than I had the first time, when I tried to cram too much into too little time and had some amazing but stressful moments as a travel newbie.

The only problem was I was dead broke. However, I now had a job. Ka-ching! Now I would never advocate living outside of your means, unless it is good debt (return-generating investments reducing your taxable income etc etc), and a personal loan for a trip is definitely not considered good debt!

But you only live once. So for my second trip, I borrowed $6000 from the bank and paid it off over the next year. The bank was pretty cool with lending me this money, especially since they could see I had an income and some decent credit after paying off my credit card pretty diligently for a while. So with my wallet fat with cash again, off I went into the world. And I had the time of my life. And was disciplined enough to pay the debt down to zero a year later.

4. Get a Job that Requires You to Travel

Ready for work at some random hotel

This is one that is often overlooked by the travel community. But this is how I have my adventures nowadays. I’m a scientist and I often have to visit other scientists or companies that are doing new amazing things with technology. Or I go to international conferences. I travel for work, and I tack on some time before or after to have adventures. If you love your job like I do, then the work is an adventure in itself, especially when it takes place in a foreign office or laboratory.

It’s not so hard to do- and you’ll often see such job listings saying things like “May require international travel”. Jump at the chance! Before you know it, you’ll be complaining that you have to be on the move too much and that you wish you could have more time to chill out with family and friends at home, like I hear from my colleagues all the time

You could be a scientist, an engineer, a manager, an author, a photographer, a salesman, or god forbid….. even a smelly travel blogger!

5. Get a Working Holiday Visa

If you can’t travel for work, why not work for travel? If you were only a kid when Seinfeld was popular or your first memory was Britney Spears singing “Hit Me Baby One More Time”, then chances are there’s a bunch of countries you can go and work in. The work is not particularly glamorous, you might end up waiting tables, or pulling beers behind a bar, or picking fruit, or working in a summer camp, or loading lifts at the snow, but damn it, you’ll meet people and have a blast anyway.

If you’re a citizen under 30 in the following list of countries, you can go to any of the other countries on the list with a working holiday visa: Belgium, Canada, Cyprus, Denmark, Estonia, Finland, France, Germany, Hong Kong, Ireland, Italy, Japan, Korea, Malta, Netherlands, Norway, Sweden, Taiwan and the United Kingdom.

Meanwhile, citizens of Argentina, Bangladesh, Chile, Indonesia, Malaysia, Thailand, Turkey, the USA or Uruguay may also be able to join in the fun but with some added criteria.

But don’t take my word for it, why not check out the working holiday visa that your government has negotiated with other countries. Here’s a good link for Australians and here’s one for Americanos.

6. Do Your Job in a Foreign Country

Let’s say you love your job or don’t have any other qualifications. Well guess what- they have your job overseas too! Unless you are doing some highly specialised job like being an astronaut for NASA or working as a bodyguard for some international fugitive, chances are you can do whatever it is you’re doing in your dreary cubicle at home in some slightly more exciting cubicle in an exotic locale.

And if you do have a specialised job, then the news is even better- you’ll find it easier to qualify for a visa in whatever country it is you are hoping to go to.

I have done this in the past- I worked in America and also in Germany. I had to convince the governments over there that they should accept me rather than a local citizen, but if the company really wants you, they’ll find a way to justify why they must have you and only you. The more you are an expert at something the better.

7. Get Really Creative

There’s so many other things you can do in order to travel. You can house-sit, or house-swap, or you can even crash on people’s couches for free. You could go on some amazing adventure and gather sponsors, or join the circus. The only thing I wouldn’t recommend is selling your body.

So really there’s no excuse. If you don’t go soon, when will you? When you’re wrinkled and frail in a little bed at home, what will really make you wealthy is the experiences you’ve had, and all the money in the world won’t buy more. So instead of worrying what travelling will cost you, why not worry about what not travelling might cost you.

It’s true… cool sign in Vancouver, Canada

And as for “the flight is too long”… come on. I once flew from Sydney to the north of Norway and it took 30 hours. That was a single day out of my life to have the time of my life. And I bet the flight you are worried about is not even as long as that. So go travel!

What has travel brought to your life and how do you afford to do it? Do you know other creative ways to travel? Let me know in the comments below!

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Heading up the Kosciusko Express Chair at Thredbo.

Yes, that’s right, Australia has mountains. Not particularly high mind you, but higher than hills. The Great Dividing Range cuts a sliver of the country from North to South separating the lush, fertile east coast (which the English landed upon) from the parched, sunburnt interior (which the Dutch landed on earlier, concluding that Terra Australis was a bit crap). The tallest mountain, Mt Kosciuszko, stands at an altitude of 2228 metres or 7310 ft. And it has snow. As you might imagine, the snow is not particularly consistent, but the terrain is steep and good, so when the snow is on, the skiing is great.

For me, the Australian snowfields always held some magic. It meant warm nights by the fire in a steeply-roofed lodge, peering out at the crisp view through the cold window glass. Getting the week off school to get some shred. Laying in bed too excited about the adventures of the next morning to sleep. Of struggling to get out of bed as early as possible to dress in a brightly coloured onesie and hit the first lifts. Of going up and down the mountain countless times ignoring the pain of weary muscles until the lifties said “last ride”. Of coming back to the pad, darkness descending, getting out of the wet uncomfortable boots and getting into some logic puzzles (as a geeky kid) or a couple of beers (as a geeky adult). Of meeting a cute blonde girl who worked at the hotel hiring out gear, randomly running into her on the slopes one day and then finding that she ripped harder than either I or my brother. Of the album One Hot Minute by the Red Hot Chili Peppers which had just come out prior to heading down to the mountains and which was on solid rotation the whole trip. To this day those songs still remind me of the snow.

Stretchin’ the old peg legs in the middle of nowhere on the drive down to the snow.

My own parents even met down at the snowfields. Mum had been told in confidence by their mutual friends that my dad was a “dragon” which in baby-boomer speak apparently meant “ugly”. When they met at the snow for the first time the first thing she said was that he wasn’t a dragon after all. A downhill tyre tube incident where they ended up submerged in a frozen creek sealed the romance. As soon as I was old enough, they put me on skis. In my teens I learnt to snowboard and three weeks after I met my now-fiance, when I was a poor grad student, I convinced her to drive down to the snow with me despite the fact that she hated the cold. As a romantic getaway it wasn’t my best effort- we ended up sleeping on the shores of Lake Jindabyne in the back of my beat up old Holden Commodore wagon, next to all the snowboarding gear. However I did take along plenty of blankets to ensure she was warm and an acoustic guitar so I could serenade and woo her, and I like to think she had a good time, even if she’s never explicitly stated so.

Camping in the back of my old car next to Lake Jindabyne. The stuff dreams are apparently made of

But even in those days I was being lured more and more by international travel, by faraway lands, by the deep powder in the ski-fields of Japan and North America and Austria, and my work also was leading me further and further from Australia. Meanwhile, a trip to the snow in Australia has never been cheap, with a daily lift ticket north of $100 and total trip cost almost equalling that of an overseas trip. A bunch of years thus went past with nary a visit to the winter wonders of the Great Southern Land. Until this year with the mercury sinking, when nostalgia got the better of me and I clambered into my Mini Clubman and hit the highway south to Canberra and the Snowy Mountains beyond.

These days, the roads are much better than when I was a kid. Dual carriageway freeways stretch from Sydney all the way to Canberra and only the final hour or two is on single-lane highway. What used to be an 8 hour drive has been reduced to around 6. And the driving is great. The road passes Goulburn, Australia’s historic first inland city, and the shores of the stunning Lake George, said to be capable of filling and emptying in mere hours, subjecting it to mysterious theories about where all the water might go, if evaporation alone cannot account for the change in water levels (the lake has been empty since 2002).

West of Cooma, the landscape turns arid, with the gnarled trunks of snow-gums and large boulders strewn across the countryside. The area is rich in wildlife, with species of kangaroos, wallabies and wombats abundant and well adapted to the conditions. I passed a sign warning of kangaroos for 7 kilometres, and skeptical that they could be localised to such a small area, I nonetheless passed the carcasses of no less than ten kangaroos on the side of the road within that space. Standing at times nearly 2 metres high, you really have to look out for them when driving at dusk or at night, with collisions producing similar conseqences to that of elk in the northern hemisphere for all concerned- driver, car, and beast. Meanwhile, wombats are everywhere- my friends and I once came across one on the mountain while we were snowboarding. It was blizzarding and the wombat was attempting to dig a burrow into the snow. Like kangaroos, they are often found plodding along the centre-line in the middle of the night. Dark in colour and the size of pigs, they pose a serious danger to cars (and we to them).

I round a bend and finally there is the great Lake Jindabyne, formed after construction of the Jindabyne Dam, part of the vast Snowy River Hydroelectric Scheme. Formation of Lake Jindabyne flooded the old Jindabyne settlement- parts of the town can still be seen when water levels in the lake are low.

At only 2 in the afternoon, I am wondering whether I can fit in an afternoon of boarding, but heading up over the pass into the mountains the weather turns ugly with wind and sleet bucketing down and the road covered with snow and ice. The cost of a half-day ticket being prohibitive unless conditions are good, I turn around and tiptoe my way back down the mountain in the Mini, passing a black kangaroo standing majestically on the side of the road with the snow falling all around.

Lake Jindabyne

I head to my accommodation at Carinya Alpine Village, the cheapest I could find at short notice. I frown at having paid over $80 a night for what is little better than caravan park accommodation. A budget destination the Snowy Mountains surely are not. Short of organising a large group of friends to occupy every last space of an expensive on-snow lodge, your best option is probably the hostel at either Thredbo or Jindabyne, although they will set you back a similar amount. My cabin is literally too small to swing a cat (I can just fit my snowboard inside beside the two bunks) and heated to a “barely there” state by a rattly old electric heater. Gaps in the window have let dirt blow onto the beds from outside. The walls are paper-thin and a school group is going nuts in another (larger) cabin just outside. The kids (who are actually pretty nice kids) have also practically destroyed the already-grim shared concrete and corrugated iron toilet block. Internet access? Forget it- I can’t even get a 3G signal on my iPhone here. Nonetheless, the property that the Carinya Village occupies is naturally beautiful and I sleep like a log with the help of a few extra layers of clothing. The people talking in the cabins around me do a good job of rousing me from my slumber at an early hour and I see the joyful first rays of the sun peeking through the trees with an endless blue sky.

There are two main snowfields in the area, each around 30 km from Jindabyne. Perisher Blue is an amalgamation of 4 smaller resorts- Perisher Valley, Mt Blue Cow, Guthega and Smiggin Holes, thus covering a vast area, with the resorts linked by ski-trails and the ski-tube, a train which runs underneath the mountains and is very convenient. Meanwhile Thredbo has Australia’s highest lifted point, and offers mostly steeper terrain than its counterpart. This year, it is top-to-bottom, with the help of snow making machines located lower on the mountain. Under such conditions it offers runs as long as ten to fifteen minutes flat out, and will be my destination today.

The last time I went snowboarding was in Niseko in Japan just before I experienced the 2011 earthquake and tsunami. Metre deep Japanese powder Thredbo has not, but ten centimetres (4 inches) of snow has fallen overnight, and it’s not too bad. I try out my GoPro camera “boot-cam”, which breaks off my boot after 3 runs. Undeterred, I mount the camera on my brand new helmet and spend the day exploring the mountain from top to bottom. The mountain is as exhilarating as the surrounding countryside. At the windswept peak, wide, steep expanses of snow offer endless opportunites for carving. Lower down, the sparsely spaced snowgums provide fun dodging the trees while the groomed runs are filled with moustachioed men in fluoro onesies stroking big egos and first-timers bruising their tailbones. I’m surprised to find that the on-mountain food has improved somewhat since I was younger- at the Merritts Restaurant they are serving everything from German sausages with sauerkraut to pretty good chicken laksa and Indian food. Even the prices don’t seem as steep as I remember, but that may just be because I’m from Sydney and in recent years suitably desensitised to being ripped off.

Worn out and with muscles aching, I climb back into my frozen car for the trip back down the hill. The next day dawns equally as glorious, and I ascend to an unexplored peak with fervour. Making my descent through a rock garden I hit a patch of ice and next thing I know my board is at my eye level and whack! The back of my head unexpectedly strikes either rock or ice with force. The chin strap on my helmet smacks my jaw shut and I check my teeth to make sure none are chipped or broken. With my head pulsing, and thanking providence for the purchase of my helmet a day earlier, I make my way gingerly down the mountain to the village at the bottom. On the way down, the GoPro boot mount, which I had glued on with contact adhesive overnight, breaks off again and I’m forced to stop to pocket the camera. I’m not seeing double or anything but I do feel somewhat nauseous, so at the bottom I take a breather for an hour until the feeling passes before heading back up for a blissful afternoon of boarding.

On my final day, I wake up to an overcast sky with the stiffest neck I can ever remember having and a headache which lasts another week. Evidently I have some whiplash as well as concussion. Snow related injuries are not new to me or my family- I previously broke my wrist snowboarding in Austria, a feat repeated recently by my brother-in-law, while my father broke his collarbone skiiing in Australia and had to be stretchered off the mountain. At some point today I need to drive the 6 hours back to Sydney- I have meetings I need to be at the following day. I check the snow cams and the visibility on the mountain is next to zero and the winds are approaching gale force. I call Perisher Blue and am told that a half day ticket costs $100, almost the same price as a full day ticket. With the money, the weather, and my pounding head I decide to give it a miss and get back on the highway. I arrive back in the steel and glass harbour city, and true to form there is a major power failure in a tunnel that leads back into the city and I have to take an alternative route choked with the worst traffic I can remember ever dealing with. It seems all the more monstrous after my blissful few days on the open road. But the air feels that little bit warmer than it did just a few days earlier, and spring is just around the corner.

The highest lifted point in Australia, close to the peak of Mt Kosciuszko

My old history teacher from highschool, Mr Quill, used to say that the two most unnatural things a human could do were to ride on the backs of horses and speed down a snow-covered mountain on skis. I have to admit he has a point. The last time I got on a horse, it stood there eating grass defiantly while I futilely implored it to start walking. Meanwhile, the snow is even more ridiculous. Where else can you mortgage your house to afford a holiday where you freeze your arse off, dress in ridiculous waterproof outfits and boots that you can’t walk in, and come home with lasting injuries? If we were made by a benevolent creator, he was surely surprised when we strapped wooden sticks to our feet and hurled ourselves at speed down slippery mountain peaks.

Regardless, the snow will always hold that magic for me- the cold, dry chimney-smoke winter air of the mountains and the anticipation of white-knuckle adventure.

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There is enough going on in London to keep anyone occupied for a lifetime, let alone someone visiting for a couple weeks. However, if you’re looking for a change of pace and can only spare a day or two, here are some day trips you can make to see more of England.

Cambridge

Cambridge University. Photo: Caffeine Hit

This city an hour north of London offers an interesting juxtaposition: a bustling and youthful university town contrasted with the romanticism of remarkable architecture and historic buildings. The easiest way to discover Cambridge is on foot as many areas are pedestrianized. If you’re feeling adventurous though, rent a bike and join the locals in dodging the meandering tourists.

Punting on the River Cam- heading under the Bridge of Sighs.

Check out the General Market in the central Market Square—vendors set up selling fresh bread, vintage clothing, books and even old coins. From there, explore the University of Cambridge campus and make your way to King’s College Chapel. This iconic chapel is considered one of Europe’s greatest Gothic buildings. You can explore the chapel and learn a little more about its history in the chapel exhibit. Be sure to look up; the fan-vaulted ceiling is unparalleled.

King’s College Chapel, with its superb fan vaulting

A visit to Cambridge wouldn’t be complete until you’ve gone punting on the River Cam. What is punting? A guaranteed disaster on your first try! It involves pushing the punt (a type of boat with a platform on one end, called the ‘till’) with a 5m long pole. While standing on the till in the back, the pole is placed straight into the water and is pushed into the riverbed to propel forward. It’s actually quite easy once you get the hang of it and really a lot of fun! You can also pay for a guide who will do all the heavy lifting and help you discover the Bridge of Sighs, the different Cambridge colleges and the replica of the bridge over the Cam that gave this lovely city its name.

Getting there: Don’t drive into the centre of Cambridge—it’s expensive to park and has a complicated one-way system. You can take the M11 north from London, stop at a Park-and-Ride and take a shuttle bus. There are also trains from London’s King’s Cross Station and Liverpool Street Station. Keep in mind that during May and June many college buildings will be closed to visitors for examinations.

P.S. If you go punting in Oxford, tradition is to punt from inside the boat and propel with the till facing forward!

West Sussex

For those who love antiquing, this is the place for you! About an hour by train south of London are two quaint villages called Horsham and Ardingly. Horsham is a market town immortalized in Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s novel The Five Orange Pips. Horsham is based around Carfax—the pedestrianized square in the centre with cafés, restaurants and live music on stage in the summer. The Horsham museum also holds galleries with a variety of items, including early editions of pieces by Percy Bysshe Shelley and Mary Shelley.

Just next to Horsham is Ardingly, a town known for the South of England showground that hosts the Ardingly Agricultural show as well as the International Antiques and Collectors show.

Ardingly Reservoir. Photo: A Bridge Over

If you’re planning on spending a couple days away, staying in Ardingly is perfect. One hour away from London and thirty minutes from Brighton, you can spend a day at the beach or in the city and come back to the countryside in no time at all. The Ardingly Inn just off the high street has a relaxed atmosphere and really friendly service. Not just a venue serving traditional pub fare, they also have seven letting beds if you need a place to stay.

To get out in nature, take a walk or some watersport lessons at the Ardingly Reservoir. This reservoir feeds the River Ouse and is surrounded by rolling green hills and fields of buttercups. Learn about the plants, trees and birds in the area on discovery walks. The Ardingly Activity centre provides sailing and windsurfing lessons, fishing, and canoeing for the adventurous visitors. Be sure to book in advance via their website.

Getting there: To drive, it is near the M25 & M23. Trains to Horsham are from London Victoria—be aware that on weekends you will have to transfer to a bus. For Ardingly, take the train from London Victoria to Hayward’s Heath.

Windsor

Site of the Windsor Castle, home to the Royal Family for more than 900 years, this town is a great place for a day trip. Georgian architecture and lavish furnishing from the Royal Collection awaits you in this Victorian town. You can take the Open Bus tour to explore, but a really unique way to see the area is by boat that departs from Windsor Promenade. See the Royal Windsor Information Centre on Thames Street for more information.

Windsor Castle. Photo: Konqui

The Crooked House of Windsor

Go see the Windsor Changing of the Guard; there is more pomp and circumstance than the ceremony at Buckingham Palace, especially if the Queen is home. At 11AM, a full regimental band marches through town as the Bearskin-wearing guards change place. On the castle grounds is St. George’s Chapel, a quintessential chapel in the Medieval Perpendicular style in which ten sovereigns are buried.

Stop for afternoon tea at The Crooked House of Windsor, a building constructed in 1592 that now serves as a restaurant. This English tea room has a variety of items from roast duck salad to steak and kidney pie. Of course, this place is here for the tradition of taking high tea: tea sandwiches, fruit, scones with Cornish clotted cream and strawberry jam, all served on a Victorian style platter. Your choice of loose-leaf tea or speciality coffee served in a cafetière is included—the Indian Mysore coffee is divine!

Getting there: Trains make the 35 minute trip from Paddington station in London to Windsor & Eton Central. By car, Windsor is 25 miles away along the M4 motorway.

Eastbourne and Beachy Head

Chalk cliffs at Beachy Head, near Eastbourne in the south of England

If coastal scenery is your thing, southern England has it in spades, but perhaps none more spectacular than at Beachy Head, a 2 hour drive from London in East Sussex. This stretch of coastline is home to the highest chalk sea-cliffs in all of Britain, rising to more than 160 metres above sea level- I promise you will gasp when you first see them!

The cliffs extend for miles along the coast and make for a fantastic walk if the weather is good. You can stop at the Belle Tout lighthouse for a breather. Built in 1829, the lighthouse was a much needed addition to the notoriously treacherous stretch of coast which had previously seen dozens of shipwrecks. Perched on top of the cliff, and having to be moved away from the cliff in 1999 due to ongoing erosion of the cliff face, it’s hard to image a more breathtaking lighthouse view than this one. After the walk, stop in at the vintage  Beachy Head pub which oozes character and does a good lunch to go with your ale.

Eastbourne Pier is an olde world mix of tea houses, food stalls and amusements

The nearby town of Eastbourne is a classic British seaside resort, complete with charming ocean pier with food, tea houses and amusements. In summer, the beach is a magnet for sun-lovers from all over England, while the beachfront promenade has a jumble of beautiful Victorian buildings and hotels. There are also several castles in the vicinity.

Getting there: By car, Eastbourne is a 65 mile 2 hour drive on the A23 and A22 almost directly south from London. Frequent direct trains run from London Victoria, Gatwick or Ashford stations.

Have you been to London or southern England? Any tips for places that make good day trips from London?

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The undies in question are Adventure Underwear, the brainchild of Nigel Clifford who designed a prototype pair of travel underwear to protect his goods on a 9 month journey around South America. The undies have a pair of pockets that hang either side of your John Thomas (a female version is apparently on the way). You can store cash, keys, cards or whatever else you might need on your trip in them. Nigel managed to not get robbed during his trip, which was more than could be said for some of the friends he met on tour, and he’s now commercialising his invention.

Adventure Underwear are made from Merino wool and very very comfy.

Now I remember wearing a money belt around my waist on my first backpacking trips as a fresh faced 21 year old. I’d put everything in it, passport, flight tickets, money, cards, and then when I needed something I’d go rummaging underneath my shirt for it. I ended up ditching the money belt because it felt ridiculous and clearly advertised to all and sundry that I was new to town and had cash and credit cards on my person. The big fat guidebook in my hands (and the big fat backpack) probably didn’t help either. I’ve become far more laissez-faire in my travel habits as I’ve got older and just use regular pockets, but there’s always places I go where I just feel a bit paranoid about those cards in my back pocket and move them to a jacket pocket or something.

Schematic of the underwear in question- pay attention now as there’ll be a test on this later.

So I tried out the Adventure Underwear. My first impressions were that they are damn comfortable Reg Grundys in their own right. They’re made out of Australian Merino Wool, which is good stuff- it breathes. It’s warm in winter and cool in summer and sure enough the crown jewels were pretty happy in these guys- a lot more luxurious than the other underwear I own.

Having the two pockets hanging there around the groinus maximus takes a bit of getting used to. The pockets are lined with what looks like plastic snap-lock bags, but it turns out these guys are hermetically sealed and waterproof to 60 metres. Bloody hell I thought, why would you need that? But I took them surfing and have to say they performed well with my keys making it back the car with nary a drop of saltwater. I could also imagine them to be useful on the beach when you don’t want to leave your cash on the sand whilst swimming. I imagine they’d be good also for snorkelling or diving.

The waterproof pockets where you can store your valuables

The jury’s still out on how they’d go on the street, because reaching into your duds to pay at a restaurant or in the supermarket ain’t really the done thing in most countries. But if you’re walking around with an emergency card or a wad of cash you’re unlikely to need in a hurry, they work well, and it’s highly unlikely a thief is going to ask you to empty your underwear. That would be a pretty kinky robbery.

Nigel has a kickstarter campaign set up to help commercialise his secure briefs so head on over there if you’d like to chip in and help him out.

Disclosure: I received my underpants free of charge (now that’s a sentence I don’t get to use very often).

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“Why, Sir, you find no man, at all intellectual, who is willing to leave London. No, Sir, when a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford.”
— Samuel Johnson

Thus spake Johnson to his distinguished biographer James Boswell, and though the words are over 200 years old, they might equally well apply to any age. For London is and has always been one of those places where you can experience the complete spectrum of human possibility. Centre of an empire for centuries, from history to the arts to the sciences, London is a place where you can see, do, and find anything- a world unto itself. If you however, unlike Johnson, will measure your stay in London in the days rather than the years, you’ll want to quickly sort the wheat from the chaff and avoid the touristy riff raff. This list will help you decide what to check out.

The ubiquitous red double deckers trundle through England’s capital.

1. Walk Around Westminster

Westminster is London 101 and thus deserves its spot up front. The area that lent its name to the parliamentary system of dozens of countries around the world has been seat of the British government for nearly a millennium. Take in the magnificent Houses of Parliament, take a tour in Westminster Abbey, watch the Changing of the Guard at Buckingham Palace, or simply stroll along the River Thames and bask in the air of British pageantry and seagull poo. Tube: Westminster, St James, Waterloo

The iconic Big Ben on the Houses of Parliament in Westminster

2. Ride a Boris Bike Around Hyde Park

Mayor Boris Johnson may have his critics but any politician setting up bicycle sharing schemes will always find friends at Confiscated Toothpaste. The scheme was set up in 2007 and allows you to rent a bike from one of myriad self-service locations across London using your credit card. Dubbed Boris Bikes, they’re a great way to travel short (or longer) distances around London and good for getting the pulse going a bit faster in the cold grey air than the old walking pins might otherwise allow for. A very lovely place to ride is in Hyde Park- serenity is often best enjoyed at breakneck speed. Grab a bike from Marble Arch or Hyde Park Corner, and head toward the Serpentine, where you can swim or ice-skate depending on the season. As an alternative, grab a partner (preferably one you’ve prepared earlier) for a cuddle and a smooch as you watch the swans. Tube: Marble Arch, Hyde Park Corner

A swan taking flight from the Serpentine in Hyde Park

3. London Tower and London Tower Bridge

Another quintessential London locale, the Tower is as touristy as it is unmissable. Built in concentric layers by successive kings over the centuries, the castle began with the construction of the central White Tower by William the Conqueror in 1078. Although the Tower found fame as a notorious prison and place of execution for traitors, kings and queens overthrown and disgraced, it was initially used as a royal residence, and in later times housed the Royal Mint, armoury, treasury and the Crown Jewels. It is still patrolled by Yeomans in their strange finery and by the famous ravens that live within. The tower is historically fascinating- hear the stories of Edward the 5th, who went missing from the tower in 1483 aged 13 along with his younger brother, both presumed killed by their Uncle Richard who then became king, with their (suspected) bones not showing up for another 200 years. Or Lady Jane Grey, who was manipulated by her father-in-law into accepting the Crown following the death of her cousin, only to be imprisoned 9 days later and charged with high treason. After watching her husband’s execution from her cell she was next upon the scaffold. She was only 16.

After you’re done with the stories of the Tower, take a walk across the Thames over Tower Bridge. An enduring symbol of London, it’s surprising to learn that the bridge was built only in the late 1800s, being one of the newer river crossings. The London Bridge of “falling down” fame is in fact the next bridge down the Thames and comparatively unexciting, though its present incarnation is undoubtedly more solid than that of the past. Tube: Tower Hill

London Tower Bridge as viewed from within the Tower complex

4. Visit Hampstead

You may not have heard of Hampstead in West London, but on its vantage point above the Thames River Valley it has been the home of artists and intellectuals for centuries and continues as such today. The High Street is an absolute delight. It is also the home of Hampstead Heath, a large, green and ancient city park which is one of London’s best, if not the best. As a cool piece of trivia, the “Ship House” from Mary Poppins (where the crazy old Captain would fire off cannon rounds) is also located here. London Walks does a really good tour of the village and you’ll see stuff you might not have seen on your own. Tube: Hampstead

The streets of Hamstead Village, above London City

5. Catch a Show in the West End

If you’re as much a theatre nut as I am, then this one will be a no-brainer. But even if you’re not, go anyway- there are few places in the world where you can indulge in theatre of such calibre as here. Every musical, play, farce, tragedy or commedia worth its salt has played or is playing here. Live life on the edge of your seat and book half price tickets at the TKTS booth in Leicester Square on the same day as the show- just have a list of shows in mind before you go and you can usually get decent (occasionally superb) seats. Or rock up to the theatre box office itself and see if they have any deals for that night. For best results have a drink prior to the show or during intermission and grab a box of Maltesers to munch on too. Tube: Leicester Square, Piccadilly Circus

6. Get a Pub Lunch

During the campaign to host the 2012 Summer Olympics, Jacques Chirac, campaigning on behalf of Paris as French President, chastised the British for having poor quality cuisine. Like his decision to blow up nuclear warheads in Polynesian atolls, this assertion was clearly wrong and this was recognised as such by the International Olympic Committee who promptly awarded the games to London. The truth is that you can get the best, bar none, pub food in London pubs. From roast beef with all the trimmings to chicken pie with mushy peas and baby carrots to Banoffee pie and peanut butter ice cream, British pub food is the perfect antidote to a chilly climate. Grab an ale to wash it down- you’ll also find some of the world’s best in London, and though they have a reputation for being “warm” the truth is they are cold enough to enjoy but just not so chilled as to dumb down the flavour. If you’re looking for suggestions for cool pubs to try, why not try Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese (where one Charles Dickens used to drink), White Horse in Chelsea, The Prince Alfred in Little Venice, or the Fox and Anchor in Smithfield.

London pubs- beer, food, and atmosphere.

7. Brick Lane and Shoreditch

You’ve seen the west, but don’t ignore the east of London, which is a microcosm of cool pubs, clubs, markets and street culture. Once the crime scene area of Jack the Ripper, Brick Lane nowdays has some of the best street art in London featuring work by Banksy, ROA, Dscreet and Ben Eine to name just a few. The area in and around nearby Shoreditch is also rich with artworks. If you like street art, this end of London is your seventh heaven. Tube: Aldgate East, Shoreditch High Street

Artwork by Ben Eine in Shoreditch

Brick Lane street art by David Walker

8. Go Out for a Curry

It might surprise you to know that you can get one of the best curries outside of the Middle East/Indian subcontinent in London, but the city’s large Indian, Pakistani and Bangladeshi communities have made it so. If you’re looking for a spicy flavour party try the original Rasa in Stoke Newington, Lahore Karahi in Tooting, or Needoo Grill in Whitechapel, or seriously just choose something at random anywhere in London where you are walking past and chances are it’ll be pretty decent.

9. Go to a Football Game (or the Ashes or Wimbledon…)

Since we’re talking all things English, when I say football I’m talking about soccer. Getting along to a Premier League game is one of the funnest and liveliest things you can do, and though the crowd can get a little heated during the match, you can lower your blood pressure a little by sitting well within the home team stands and making sure you wear something in the home team colour (or at least not in the away team colour!). Having said that, I’ve sat right beside the away team’s corner unintentionally and had people yelling insults back and forth all around me and loved it. For extra points, go to a game with Chelsea, Arsenal or Manchester United playing, but book well ahead of time!

Other sports well worth checking out in and around London if you are there at the right time include the cricket (particularly during the epic Ashes series between England and Australia) and the Wimbledon tennis championship. The latter requires some patience, queueing and money if you have your heart set on a prime centre court match; but is much easier (and cheaper- more like £20) if you’re flexible and don’t mind schlepping it on one of the lesser courts with the plebs.

Chelsea playing Sunderland at Stamford Bridge

10. Explore Old Tube Stations

If you’re in any way slightly geeky like me, you’ll not just see the London Underground as a means of transport but as a marvel of Industrial Revolution engineering. The Tube, as it is affectionately known due to its (mainly) circular-drilled tunnels, was the world’s first undergound railway system and the world’s first electrified underground system. Some of the stations are well worth a visit in their own right. St James Park is an Art Deco masterpiece, while St Pancras is a Victorian wonder. Baker Street station was one of the stops on the original Metropolitan Railway (which grew into the London Underground) and is lovely to hang around in out of historical interest as you long as you try not to look too creepy. Tube: St James Park, Kings Cross/St Pancras, Baker Street

Baker Street Station, one of the oldest in London

11. Columbia Road Flower Market

I know, I know, a flower market doesn’t sound particularly interesting, or at least I must admit I was skeptical when a friend asked me to meet her here. But once I went I was astounded by what I saw. An East London street transformed into a jungle of flowers and plants of all shapes and colours and such character as to defy description. Bring a cute friend and impress him/her with a pollen-encrusted gift, or come to people watch and check out the barrow boys who’ve been doing this all their life sell to the crowd with a colourful banter. Tube: Hoxton

12. Take in some Grizzly History in Southwark and Eat at Borough Markets

Southwark, south over the River Thames from London’s commercial zone, is one of London’s most historic neighbourhoods. Furthermore, it’s an awesome place to wander and is a veritable warren of charming old houses, stunning ancient churches, settings from Dickens novels (he lived nearby as a child and his father was incarcerated at Marshalsea Prison) and various ghastly grizzly old historical sites. The latter includes such macabre attractions as The Clink Prison (which gave its name to all others), a medieval burial ground for prostitutes, illegitimate children and other outcasts, and Europe’s first operating theatre. The latter pre-dated the invention of anaesthetic by Thomas Lister in 1846, but that didn’t stop them from amputation of limbs and “therapeutic” blood-letting. You probably won’t feel much like lunch after all this but on the off chance you’re hungry, stop in at Borough Market for some delicious hearty street food. It’s one of the oldest fine food markets in London. Or stop by The George Inn, who do a decent pub lunch and are the last remaining 16th century galleried inn complete with a courtyard where the coaches used to pull up. It’s old. Tube: Southwark, London Bridge

13. Take a Narrowboat Voyage from Little Venice to Camden Lock

Tube: Warwick Avenue

The canals of Little Venice in London

I am forever being surprised by London and one of the greatest surprises was Little Venice. Believe it or not, a system of canals operates throughout London and was used in pre-railway days for transport of cargo. In those days horses would tow the boats along the side of the canal but these days the boats have motors and you can walk along the still-existing tow-paths. But an even better way to see this hidden and enchanting side of London is to get aboard one of the boats. Although the canals are no longer needed for their purpose of yesteryear, they are inhabited by enthusiasts who lovingly keep the boats afloat, shuttle tourists around, and in many cases live on the canals. Do yourself a favour and head down to little Venice, jump on a narrowboat (there’s even a waterbus every hour, but if that’s not there have a look around for whoever else is offering a ride) and alight at Camden Lock- one of the craziest places you will ever lay your eyes upon. Which brings me to…..

14. Camden High Street and Markets

When I arrived in Camden Town I felt I had arrived at the end of the world but strangely there was a sense of joy about that. The High Street is a riot of alternative colour, the domain of punks, goths, metalheads and every kind of interesting person you could imagine. And the markets there have to be seen to be believed. It’s a great place to shop for leather jackets, old vinyl LPs, jewellery, retro clothing, arts and crafts, and a million other odds and sods that you never knew you wanted. For me, the Stables market is the most interesting, and comes complete with mazes of giant bronze sculptures of the horses that used to live here beside the canal. It’s a bohemian labyrinth, a bizarre bazaar. At the other end of the High Street you can grab some lunch at the Camden Eye pub, or if you enjoy some heavy metal with a pint of ale as I do then drop into the aptly named World’s End. Tube: Camden Town

Camden High Street buzzing.

15. Enjoy an Existential Crisis in Shakespeare’s Globe

Ah, London town

William Shakespeare inspired reverence from the English (“He was not of an age, but for all time” -Ben Johnson), contempt from the French (“Shakespeare is a drunken savage with some imagination whose plays please only those in London and Canada” – Voltaire) and confusion from just about everyone else. Whatever category you fall under, you’ll have a good old time at the Globe Theatre, a reconstruction of the original Elizabethan theatre in Southwark where Shakespeare chilled with his posse. The Globe often has performances from foreign troupes so you might catch Hamlet, 12th Night or The Merchant of Venice performed by companies from Eastern Europe, Africa or Asia- hell, even us heathen Aussies don’t mind a bit of big Willy. If you’re balking at the price of a gallery seat, here’s a hot tip- you can catch last minute standing room in the stalls for only £5- less than what you might pay for the pint of ale afterward. Tube: Blackfriars, but a bit of a walk

16. Go Shopping in the City

If you’re looking for fashion and other luxury items, or even if you’re not but just want to have a look, head to the vibrant West End. Department stores of varying quality and chain labels can be found in Regent Street and Oxford Street, while Bond Street in Mayfair is home to the most expensive elegance in London. Meanwhile, if dropping a few grand on a suit is your thing, you’ll want to head to the tailors of Saville Row. Hamley’s Toy Store on Regent street is a magical kingdom for kiddies both over and under the age of 30 while nearby Carnaby Street was the epicentre of London’s swinging 60s and is still colourful today. After you’re worn out, grab a bite to eat around Covent Garden and watch some street performers somersault their way into your heart. Tube: Bond St, Oxford Circus, Piccadilly Circus

St Paul’s Cathedral seen from Millennium Bridge

17. St Paul’s Cathedral

Yeah yeah, I know what you’re thinking- every European city has a cathedral to see, but London’s is really a pearler. Even in today’s highrise city, the St Paul’s huge dome stands as a stupendous sight among the surrounds for miles around- I can only imagine how overwhelming it must have been when it was built over 300 years ago. The Cathedral survived the bombing of World War Two relatively intact despite being targeted and is an incredible both inside and out. You can buy a ticket to ascend to the mezannine gallery and then finally to the very top of the dome. It’s amazing to stand up there in the cold wind as the roof curves and disappears into the heights all around. Tube: St Paul’s

18. The Tate Britain, Tate Modern, and British Museum

I don’t necessarily suggest you visit all of these, unless you are blessed with oodles of time, as they all demand a day of your time if they demand a minute. The Tate Britain holds the most famous items of Britain’s art collection, with the highlight being the superlative Turner collection. The Tate Modern is housed in a wonderful old power station building in Bankside and always has something interesting on. Meanwhile, if historical artifacts pilfered and pillaged from 4 corners of the globe – including ancient Egyptian sculpture and friezes chiselled from the Acropolis – interest you (and they are endlessly interesting) then you’ll enjoy the British Museum. Be entertained as they try to justify the removal of the relics from their rightful regions during the age of empire.

What about you? Have you lived or stayed in London? What would you add to the list? Add your recommendations below!

The post 18 Cool Things to Do in London appeared first on Confiscated Toothpaste.

If you’re interested in viewing my camera settings or seeing any of the photos large size, you can click on any image that takes your fancy. There’s even a video at the end.

The Overseas Passenger Terminal

While the atmosphere was generally good around Circular Quay, I thought I’d check out the Opera House first so as not to miss it.

Sydney Opera House

Sydney Opera House with leopard skin

Sydney Opera House with streamers

Sydney Opera House with speakers

Sydney Opera House with pinball game

Sydney Opera House with pinball machine

Sydney Opera House with Luna Park motif and passing ferry

Sydney Opera House with stars

Sydney Harbour Bridge and pleasure boat

Sydney’s historic area of The Rocks was done up in its finest colours too.

The Rocks and Circular Quay

The Rocks in green

The Rocks in colour

The Rocks in red

Some more Opera House pictures from a different angle. You can see the projection beams in some of these.

Sydney Opera House in blue and pink with passing boat

Sydney Opera House with fiery red and yellow

Sydney Opera House in fiery colours

Sydney Opera House in pink and purple

Sydney Opera House in purple

Sydney Opera House in pale blue

Sydney Opera House in blue and red

Sydney Opera House in green and red

Sydney Opera House with record

After this, we walked under the bridge and towards Walsh Bay to get a cool view of the Sydney Harbour Bridge.

Sydney Harbour Bridge and Luna Park

Sydney Harbour Bridge with blue lights

Sydney Harbour Bridge with blue shimmer

Luna Park panorama

Sydney Harbour Bridge in blue and purple

Sydney Harbour Bridge draped in purple

Sydney Harbour Bridge in purple and rainbow

Sydney Harbour Bridge with rainbow reflection

Sydney Harbour Bridge with rainbow lights

Sydney Harbour Bridge with turning boat

Sydney Harbour Bridge with boats

Sydney Harbour Bridge in rainbow

Sydney Harbour Bridge rainbow lights with boat

Finally, after dinner and drinks at Darling Harbour we hotfooted it back towards Circular Quay where despite the late hour, the Customs House lights were still dancing. I mean this almost literally- the lights warp and change in time to a person dancing to the beat on special sensor pads. Interesting. For some people, Customs House is the big highlight as the lights are so well designed to make the building look like it is morphing, warping, even crumbling.

Customs House in chequers

Customs House

Move your hands. Customs House

Finally, if you want to have a look at how the visuals morphed and changed, here’s a video:

The post Sydney Harbour in Lights appeared first on Confiscated Toothpaste.

Entrance to the hotel

When visiting new cities, it certainly pays to research your accommodation options. So many travellers choose a place based only on price or location, but a room can be so much more than just a place to rest your head after a day of sightseeing. It can be part of the travel experience itself.

The Michelberger Hotel in Berlin is one such place. Its setting is as quirky as the hotel itself- in gritty Friedrichshain in the former East Berlin, close to the amazing East Side Gallery and just across the river from eclectic Kreuzberg. The area is great for exploring if you love street art, techno clubs, cafes or kebabs, or if you’re feeling somewhat Ostalgic. If this kind of thing ain’t your bag, and you just want to do the big cultural monuments, you might prefer to stay right in the city centre. I’ve done both on different visits to Berlin. Mind you, the Michelberger Hotel is very well connected to all areas of Berlin, being situated right outside the Warschauer Strasse U and S-bahn stations which can take you into the city in 10 minutes and just about anywhere else you want to go.

Here doggy doggy…

Looking for a place to stay short notice in the days after Oktoberfest, I called up from Munich and the amiable (and fluent English speaking) girl who answered was happy to oblige. “There is only one problem,” she said, “for the first night, you will have to stay in the Golden Room as there is nothing else available.” This was my first hint that this wasn’t to be a regular hotel stay. Though the price was higher in the Golden Room than in the regular budget rooms (dubbed “Cosy Rooms” by the hotel), I was intrigued and agreed immediately.

Part of the wonderful lobby of the Michelberger Hotel

First things first, check-in was wonderful and included a cute map of Berlin that the hotel has produced itself, showing all the attractions that are worth seeing in Berlin. The map even shows you where you can go for a nice run along the Spree riverbank closeby. The lobby of the hotel is also incredible- it’s like going round to your best mate’s lougeroom, if your best mate was extremely well read and had an incredible book selection. Comfy couches are everywhere, and bookshelves, and people are actually hanging out and mixing here as they would in a hostel. Big points for this well-thought out lobby. There’s also a bar/cafe that serves cheap and delicious soups and cakes.

Yes, this will be an appropriate place to lay my head this evening

My next stop was the Golden Room and all I can say is wow. This is the luxury end of the hotel’s appointments and the room was resplendent in gold walls, floor, ceiling, bathroom tiles and shower, along with a huge porcelain dalmation and a gold palm tree. Then there was a large bed piled with golden pillows and a bathtub overlooking the central courtyard. The bathtub had statues of corgis beside it. The vibe was slightly perplexing but strangely uplifting and very Berlin. It’s a pity I was there alone as this room would be a lot of fun for a couple.

My golden throne

I must say I enjoyed my time in the Golden Room so much that I was not looking forward to moving to one of the Cosy Room on day 2. These rooms are at the other end of the spectrum, designed for budget travellers or people who would otherwise be staying in a hostel, and they are small, basically just a bed and a shower. It definitely does the job though, and then you have more money to spend at the local nightclubs or bars, or with the (very good) hotel masseuse.  My Cosy Room also had a view over the East Side Gallery, and it was a buzz to wake up every morning with a view of the Berlin Wall.

While the hotel corridoors are somewhat depressing, the only real negative aspect of my stay at the Michelberger Hotel was the wi-fi. It worked sporadically on my first day there, but the next day was a public holiday so they couldn’t get a technician. The day after the public holiday the technician was busy. In the end, with a four day visit, I only had wi-fi on Day 1 and it was not good wi-fi. I understand that the breakdown timing was somewhat out of their control, but for a person who works while travelling reliable internet access is essential. I spent nearly as much on mobile roaming as an extra night in the hotel would have cost me. This is not good enough and the hotel loses a full extra point from me for this bummer.

The nearby Oberbaum Bridge over the River Spree

The East Side Gallery, Berlin

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We arrive at Unification Bridge, which leads towards the DMZ.

I wake at some ungodly hour to grab a quick hotel breakfast before heading off to be at Camp Kim USO base by 7:30 in the AM. Horrifying- and that’s just the dark circles under my eyes when I look in the mirror. I am dressed in my least “offensive”, least “faddish” outfit I could muster, as requested by the UN Command and US military. At the USO base, we are organised into a group and herded onto a bus for the trip to the DMZ. We head northwest out of Seoul, up the Han river. The scenery changes from cityscape to lush green countryside, river and rice paddy. And then as far as the eye can see is barbed wire, encrusting the edge of the river bank, with guard towers appearing periodically. The rice paddies do not stop, but now they are overshadowed by fenced off no-man-lands topped with rolls of razor wire. And then finally we are stopped at the roadblock of Unification Bridge, which leads into the DMZ.

Who or What is a DMZ?

If you don’t know what the DMZ is, don’t fear, because I’m going to explain it to you now. The year was 1945 and the Korean peninsula had just been liberated from Japanese rule. The USA and the Soviets agreed to jointly administer the country, with the Soviet zone north of the 38th parallel and that of the USA to the south. A few years passed and hostilities rose between the West and the East, and the US allies ended up supporting a different Korean leader in the South to whom the USSR and Chinese supported in the North. In the South they were keen on Western style democracy and elections while in the North they thought Communism was a bloody awesome idea. In 1948, Korea was officially split into the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (DPRK) in the North, and the Republic of Korea (ROK) in the South. But both “countries” claimed sovereignty over the entire peninsula. Then in 1950, the North launched an attack on the South, beginning the Korean War. The South were taken so by surprise that they lost all their territory except for a small area surrounding Pusan, in the extreme south. At this point, the USA entered the war, and the North Koreans were pushed all the way back to the Yalu River in the far north. Then the Chinese entered the war, and pushed the frontline back south again, until it finally stabilised somewhere kind of around the 38th parallel again. Phew. At this point the UN armistice agreement was signed and a ceasefire enforced. Where the soldiers stood at the time of ceasefire became the Military Demarcation Line (MDL). It twists and turns haphazardly with little rhyme or reason. To avoid accidental engagements and misunderstandings, troops were required to retreat 2km back on either side, and to take their heavy weaponry with them. The 4 kilometre strip of land in the middle became the DMZ.

Sounds tops, where do I sign up?

More than 60 years later, we roll across Unification Bridge on our bus, swinging back and forth as we negotiate a set of movable black and yellow barricades designed to slow hostile traffic. The Unification Bridge is a 4 lane bridge over the Imjin River which replaced the older one lane Freedom Bridge. The Freedom Bridge had allowed prisoners of war to return to the South from the border at the end of the war. The newer Unification Bridge was financed by the head of Hyundai, who was a refugee from the North, and it was given its more conciliatory name. After a short drive we arrive at Camp Bonifas, a UN command post just short of the southern border of the DMZ. There we are met by American marines who escort us for the rest of the day.

We are given waivers to sign which indemnify the United Nations Command in the event of bodily injury or death as a result of “enemy action”. Our signatures messy from nervousness, we sign our lives away- quite literally. We proceed under guard past the southern border of the DMZ. It’s fortified to the eyeballs and we pass between rows of massive black anti-tank explosive barricades, masses of minefields and enough barbed wire to sink a ship. Photography is strictly forbidden here.

The DMZ is a  Four-Kilometre Wide Ecological Paradise

Bizarrely, we pass into a lushly forested natural oasis. More than half a century with barely any humans has rendered the DMZ a natural wonderland, with hundreds of species of plants and animals flourishing within the 4 km wide strip, including extremely rare birds and big cats including the Korean tiger. Their peace is only disturbed by the occasional hostile incident or by the explosion of one of thousands of land mines. According to our marine, the explosions are occasionally heard back at Camp Bonifas.

The Amur Leopard, one of the rare species living within the DMZ. Photo: Colin Hines

As it turns out, there are two villages actually within the DMZ. Daeseong-dong, near the south side of the MDL, had the misfortune to be within the 4 km buffer strip at the time of ceasefire, and is now protected by the UN Command within the DMZ. The direct descendants can still live in the village, and are exempt from military duties and taxation, though they have an 11 pm curfew and must maintain 240 days a year at the village or forfeit residency. About a mile away, on the North side of the border, is Kijong-dong. It is contended by the South that this village is merely for propaganda purposes, and that the town is like a giant Hollywood set designed to give the impression of a high standard of living. Our military escort claims that if you look through telescopes, the windows have no glass, the buildings are but concrete shells and the whole village is tended by staff who turn lights on and off and mow lawns in order to give the impression of permanent habitation. Kijong-dong at one point had the world’s tallest flagpole (at 160 metres, it is now the third highest), built in response to the South’s building of a slightly smaller one (100 metres) in Daeseong-dong.

Conference Row at the Joint Security Area, seen from the South Side. The building in the background is Panmun House. The concrete line running through the huts is the MDL, the official border between the two countries. The ROK solders stand with half of their body obscured in order to provide a smaller target to those on the North, as well as to be able to signal unseen if necessary. A DPRK soldier at the door of Panmun House watches us through binoculars.

Inside the conference room. The door behind me leads to North Korea

The Joint Security Area (JSA)

Now when most people think of the DMZ, they imagine the Joint Security Area (JSA) at Panmunjeom, which is a rectangular area straddling the border and used to conduct joint negotiations since 1953. Conference Row, a row of small houses used for the negotiations, is built right on top of the MDL border between North and South, which is marked here with a low concrete line between huts, and elsewhere with simple white wooden posts. After all the barbed wire, the lack of any sort of physical barrier at the MDL is something of a surprise. Two imposing buildings, the South’s Freedom House and the North’s Panmun House, stand facing each other across the border. As we file up through Freedom House and to the borderline in single file between US marines and South ROK soldiers, we are watched through binoculars from DPRK soldiers from Panmun House. Statuesque South Korean soldiers stand guard along the MDL. In our enthusiasm to get photos of each other with Conference row and the border in the background, my work colleague Catherine and I get too close to the edge of the area considered safe and one of the “statues” raises his arm suddenly to halt our progress, startling us.

We duly get back in line and file one by one into the main UN conference room straddling the border. This room was also previously subject to “flag wars”, with each side bringing progressively larger flags to sit on the table during meetings until they had to hold a summit on allowable flag sizes. One side of the conference table is on the South side of the MDL, while the other side is on the North. I am quite surprised to be allowed to wander both sides of the room, but frozen South Korean soldiers guard the Northern exit to the room, through which if we passed I am quite sure would be our final deed. It is a real buzz to stand on the North side of the border and look out the window back towards the soldiers guarding the south side of the border.

The Bridge of No Return

The next stop on the tour is Observation Post 5 (now renamed Checkpoint 3), on a hilltop vantage point on the South side of the JSA. This hill is surrounded on three sides by the communist North. From this vantage point, there is an amazing view of the surrounding North DMZ. There is a North Observation post just over yonder in the forest, and we can also see the Bridge of No Return, which crosses the MDL, and which was used to exchange prisoners at the end of the Korean War. The prisoners were brought to either end of the bridge and given the choice to return to whichever side they preferred. If they crossed the bridge in either direction, they could never again return. Around 20,000 prisoners from the North chose not to return to their homeland, while interestingly, around 20 prisoners from the US and Britain held prisoner in the North did not want to leave.

The Bridge of No Return

1976 Axe Murder Incident

Right beside the bridge is the old UN Command Checkpoint 3. In days past, the North and South were able to mix on both sides of the border within the JSA. The North built three guard houses in close proximity to Checkpoint 3, which was only visible from Observation Post 5 through the leaves of a poplar tree. This tree was the focal point of the 1976 Axe Murder incident, one of the gravest escalations in tensions since the end of the war. Due to the limited visibility provided by the tree, it was regularly pruned by the UN Command. On one such occasion the DPRK soldiers objected to the pruning being undertaken and when the US and ROK guards refused to suspend the work they were attacked by North Korean reinforcements who arrived across the Bridge of No Return. The tree trimmers in panic dropped their axes, which were subsequently used by DPRK soldiers to kill two US personnel, Captain Arthur Bonifas and 1st Lieutenant Mark Barrett.

Following this incident, the tree was symbolically felled completely three days later by the UN Command under the shadow of heavy military reinforcements. The DPRK guard posts were vandalised and finally removed from this area of the JSA, and the soldiers now stand on either side of the Military Demarcation Line and do not dare to cross it. One exception to this was in 1984, when a Soviet tourist visiting the JSA from the North side suddenly broke away from the group and ran across the demarcation line, yelling that he wanted to defect. He was chased and shot at by pistol wielding DPRK soldiers, who ran right past Freedom House and were engaged in a 40 minute firefight by their Southern counterparts in the garden on the South side of Freedom House. Three of the North Koreans and one South Korean were killed before a ceasefire could be negotiated. Interestingly, Lieutenant Pak Chul, who had commanded the troops accused of the 1976 Axe Murder, was reportedly one of those DPRK soldiers killed during this incursion. The defector was unharmed and began a new life in the West.

DMZ and JSA as seen from Checkpoint 3. The white wooden posts mark the Military Demarcation Line (MDL), the border between North and South.

On board the bus, we cruise down from Checkpoint 3 past the site of the poplar tree and to the Bridge of No Return, and the bus pauses for photographs, but we are not allowed off the bus. The area is now heavily overgrown and seems deserted. “We just don’t know where the North Koreans might be,” our escort explains. We cruise along the edge of the MDL on our way out of the JSA past rice paddies tended by villagers from Daeseong-dong. “Occasionally, the DPRK will appear and kidnap a villager and drag them across the border, never to be seen again,” he says, followed by a swift admonishment of me for taking a photo.

Exit Through the Theatre of War Giftshop, Please

We arrive back at Camp Bonifas, named after the victim of the axe murder. Among other curiosities, Camp Bonifas has a one-hole “golf course” surrounded by minefields and a bizarre giftshop where you can buy everything from DMZ t-shirts to North Korean banknotes and bottles of North Korean wine and brandy. The liquor looks slightly worrisome with labels that look like they came from a home-made printing press. “It tastes like shit,” we’re informed by our marine. Not a particularly good sales job and I resist the temptation to take home a bottle, though I do buy a banknote (I’m not sure why) and a fridge magnet to add to our collection back home.

North Korean wine and brandy on sale at Camp Bonifas

Our army escorts leave us and we jump back into the bus with our Korean guide. The first stop is Dora Observatory, which from its vantage point perched high up on Mt Dora, has a wonderful view out over the DMZ. A ROK soldier standing guard suddenly breaks into perfect American English (he was educated at UCLA, it turns out) to give us an explanation of what we are seeing. Though it is hazy, we can clearly make out Kijong-dong, the North’s propaganda village within the DMZ, with its gigantic flagpole, and behind that the city of Kaesong, which until recently hosted workers in industrial facilities from both the North and South.

Kijong-dong, North Korea, with the world’s third-largest flagpole. The houses and apartment blocks that can be seen are apparently just empty concrete shells painted to look like real dwellings.

The Last Train to Pyongyang

Next, we roll into Dorasan Railway Station. This station is northernmost on an historic line that connects Seoul and Pyongyang, and through which trains bound for Kaesong in the North began rolling in 2007 after a thaw in relations between the two sides. Unfortunately the goodwill did not last and Dorasan is now end of the line again. Though looking fresh, refurbished and modern, the station is now again deserted and the unused tracks are surprisingly full of people clambering across them, occasionally yelled at by ROK soldiers standing on the platforms with assault rifles. We take the obligatory photos whilst lying on the tracks and continue on to lunch at a nearby cafeteria. (“Is it really only midday?” I ask, amazed at all the things we have done already.) Though culinary luxury cannot be expected in this remote area the bibimbap and spicy kimchi is passable and we wash it down with mouthfuls of filtered water drunk from the usual UV-sterilised steel cups.

On the tracks at Dorasan station, South Korea. The tracks behind me go all the way to Pyongyang.

ROK soldier at Dorasan Station

The Third Tunnel into the Bowels of the Earth

In the area is the Third Infiltration Tunnel, our final stop for the day, and for me, one of the spookiest. Four tunnels in total were discovered during the 1970s by the South; there may have been more. The third tunnel was only discovered on information provided by a defector, but at the time of his defection, the North were tunnelling 73 metres underground and were well past the MDL with the tunnel sloping gradually upwards to allow water to flow away from the excavation site back toward the North. In order to try and pinpoint the location of the tunnel, the South sunk evenly spaced PVC pipes filled with water deep into the ground, and one day a dynamite blast within the tunnel caused water from one of the pipes to shoot into the air. A steeply graded interception tunnel was then dug from the South down to meet the infiltration tunnel, with the MDL being blocked off by three concrete walls. Through a window in the final wall, you can see the second wall. Between the first and second is a trap that would send a flood of water downhill toward the North should it be penetrated.

Upon discovery, the North claimed the tunnel was a coal mine, and the coal dust with which they painted the granite walls to try and support their story is still visible. As I am asthmatic with some breathlessness caused by the hazy air, I’m warned (along with those with claustrophobia) to avoid going down into the tunnel. But I grab a hard hat anyway and start the descent down the interception tunnel into the bowels of the earth. The intercept tunnel is dark and steep and moist and eerie. But it’s nothing compared to the actual infiltration tunnel itself that we reach after half a kilometre of walking steeply downhill. The tunnel is dark and extremely confined. Water drips from the ceiling and though there is an air circulation system now installed, it is very hard to breathe. There’s not enough space for a tall guy like me to stand upright, and I wonder if the lack of air is making me stupider as I bash my helmeted head over and over again against the supports on the roof of the tunnel. Though barely wide enough to walk in single file, the tunnel seems to go on forever towards the MDL and it is full of people squeezing past in both directions. It is honestly a claustrophobic’s worst nightmare and with the lack of air I struggle to make it to the concrete walls sealing the end of the tunnel. I don’t stick around for long, and swiftly make my way back the way I’ve come, several times smacking my head against pylons. Though the hard hat takes the brunt of the impacts, several of them are hard enough to cause ringing in my ears. I finally reach the interception tunnel and my breathing getting ever easier, I walk headlong uphill, finally feeling strong enough to jog the last hundred metres, passing dozens of huffing and puffing older tourists from all over the world.

Hey, just cos there’s a war going on don’t mean we can’t still be cute.

By this stage, we are well exhausted, with our brains bursting with the oddities of the day’s observations. The bus weaves its way back through the barriers on Unification Bridge, and over the next 45 minutes the masses of barbed wire on the sides of the road gradually thin out until we are back again in the bright lights of Seoul in the Western World. But we won’t forget the last remaining interface between the First and Second Worlds, ever-present just 50 km to the north of one of the West’s most successful and modern cities.

*If You Go

Make sure you get one of the official USO tours and pay extra to go to the JSA. It is totally worth it. We went with Koridoor Tours.

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I am often asked where I have been. But over the years I have done so many oodles of trips that the answer is blurry- several countries I have been to several times, with little rhyme or reason- sometimes I’d need to travel for work, sometimes I followed my heart someplace and sometimes my heart yearned for someone I’d met on a distant continent. I make this list as a little catelogue of memories and moments as much for myself as for you.

Please note I have defined a visit in the most literal sense of the word. I have noted in the list below if it was just a few hours or a transit.

That’s the most beautiful sunset I ever saw, thought I. But hang on a second. Where am I again?

1. Australia

Born and raised in Sydney, you can take the boy out of Australia but you can’t make him drink… or something like that. Comfortable with the Australian wildlife despite several unfortunate encounters.

The 12 Apostles on the Great Ocean Road, Australia

2. USA

Lived and worked in Portland for 18 months and did research in Delaware for 6 months. Went on an Alaskan cruise. If you are where you’ve been, then I’m approximately 8% American, based on time spent there.

America…… America….

3. Mexico

Only visited Tijuana once as a kid. I remember having fun though. I must rectify this situation.

4. England

Too many visits to count. Probably the place I was least interested to travel to but a revelation of history and culture and now one of my favourites.

London, England

5. France

Three or four visits. Met friends there that I will never forget but will never see again.

The eerie underground tunnels of the Paris Catacombs

6. Belgium

Visited once; got notification of my TER (final highschool grade) here.

7. Netherlands

Visited once as a kid, walked through the red light district of Amsterdam with my parents.

8. Germany

Worked for several German companies, too many visits to count. Visited for Oktoberfest. One of the most historically interesting places and home to one of my favourite capitals- Berlin. Doing my best to learn the language.

The Berlin Wall, East Berlin

9. Switzerland

Three visits for work and play.

Looking over Jungfrau from Thun, Switzerland

10. Italy

Three visits and home to Venice and Rome, probably the most exotic places in all of Europe.

The Grand Canal. Venice, Italy

11. Austria

Visited three times. Broke my wrist here snowboarding. I can recommend the hospital system.

View from a little cottage in the Austrian Alps near St Anton, with a barn attached that smelled of cows. Stayed here for 2 nights

12. Thailand

Three visits. All of them completely crazy and resplendent with unexpected adventures (both good and bad).

Thailand adventure time. Ko Phi Phi Leh.

13. Norway

Two visits, travelled extensively. Coming from Australia, I was intrigued by this other-world of mountains and ice. I’ve been almost everywhere from the party South to the wild North, during both the cold dark winter and the glorious summer.

Flåm, Norway

14. Sweden

Visited once, extensive travels there as well. Many good parties.

Camping in the rain and a crappy tent in the Stockholm Skärgård (archipelago), Sweden

15. Spain

Four visits including an epic roadtrip adventure from Malaga to one of my favourite cities, Barcelona. An acquired taste for me, like a good red wine.

The isolated abbey of Montserrat, Spain

16. Singapore

Too many visits to count. Stopovers, friends living there, work colleagues living there. Check out Confiscated Toothpaste’s definitive guide to the island city-state.

Colonial Singapore. View of the Arts House and Asian History Museum

17. Maldives

Visited once, spent 10 days living on a boat and surfing.

Having fun after a day of motoring from surf break to surf break, Maldives

18. Denmark

Visited Copenhagen once and drank a lot of Danish beer.

Christiania in Copenhagen, Denmark

19. Finland

Having a Finnish ex-girlfriend meant several visits including living there for brief periods. And extensive travels, from Helsinki in the South to Inari in the North. Had my best Northern Lights experience here and also went dogsledding.

Somewhere near Juorkuna, in the north of Finland

20. Estonia

Visited twice. Tallinn is a wonderful city and very interesting due to its modern history.

The walls of Tallinn, Estonia

21. Tahiti

Visited once, threw coconuts around. I was supposed to be there for a couple of days longer, but my flight from LA had to turn back midair due to a cracked windscreen. So instead I spent some more time in LAX instead. Joy.

Island men, Tahiti

22. Cook Islands

Short transit while on my way home from Tahiti hungover and tired early morning, but wow! Imagine a stunning forested volcano with the runway on the beach and the breaking waves right next to you as you taxi to a terminal the size of your loungeroom.

23. Scotland

Visited once, loved it.

Riding in the late, late, summer sun on the Isle of Skye, Scotland

24. Japan

Visited twice, the last time for an epic snowboarding trip. Was here during the 2011 9.0 earthquake. Also had one of my strangest travel experiences here.

Niseko, Japan

25. China

Worked with several Chinese companies, 4 visits, and stayed with a family in a regional area a few hours drive from Shanghai.

A barge packed to the brim with coal on Lake Tai, Wuxi, China

26. Brazil

Fiancee is Brazilian. Four visits and will get married there in 2014! Rio is one of my favourite cities and has some great surfing.

Looking towards Leblon and the Two Brothers mountain as the sun sets over Ipanema beach. There is plenty of football kicking going on all day

27. Czech Republic

Visited Prague once for the weekend, incredible place.

Prague, Czech Republic

28. New Zealand

One visit, roadtripped both islands with an ex. Plenty of amazing places but Queenstown is my favourite.

Despite what you may have heard, New Zealand really is full of sheep and mountains

29. Canada

Been twice to Vancouver. Does that count?

The Capilano suspension bridge, British Columbia, Canada

30. South Korea

Visited 3 times for work, but South Koreans know how to party and there was plenty of that done as well.

If anything, I think Seoul could use more neon.

31. New Caledonia

Visited once on a South Pacific cruise from Sydney.

Isle of Pines, New Caledonia

32. Argentina

Transited on way to/from Brazil.

33. Chile

Transited on way home from Brazil.

34. United Arab Emirates

Visited twice and found the more traditional Arab areas fascinating. Check out my 10 Cool Things to Do in Dubai.

The incredible Sheikh Zayed Mosque in Abu Dhabi, UAE

35. North Korea

Only visited North Korea by crossing to the the North side of the UN conference room in the Joint Security Area in Panmunjeom. Would love to visit properly some day.

Looking towards North Korea from the UN Joint Security Area, Panmunjom. South Korean soldiers guard the border, which is the concrete threshold between the huts.

I would love to know if you have been to any of the above, what your favourite countries are, and where I should travel to next??

The post List of Countries I Have Visited … Plus a Photo for Each appeared first on Confiscated Toothpaste.